29 & Feelin’ Fine
Jazmin Elaine
Jul 19, 2020
"29 and feeling fine"
is what my dad told me on my birthday. I think this may have been one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had. The amount of love that was shown towards my sister and I was overwhelming. I am truly grateful that God blessed me with amazing family and friends who genuinely want to see me succeed. I cried a few times that day because I missed my mom but overall, I was so happy. My friends got me a pair of Crocs and I could literally hear my mom say “Oooo them shoes are ugly” she HATED Crocs. Every time I wear them, I think of her and laugh. This is the last year in my twenties and I’m in preparation. I keep hearing the song “I’m a soldier in the Army of the Lord” and every time I hear it, I think of my paternal grandfather (Wesley Page Sr.). When I think of my grandfather I think of strength and I am reminded of who I am. I’m not sure what battle I may be preparing for, but I am ready! I’ve taken time to really focus on myself this year and each day I feel stronger. I read words of encouragement from my blogs and it really helps! The fact that I can continue to live and share my beautiful mother with the world is the ultimate blessing. That truly shows me that sometimes the battle isn’t just for you, sometimes you have to go through to bring others through it! There are no words for me to express my gratitude. My ONLY prayer for the month of July was to not be sad on my birthday and not only did God give me joy but he sent some angels to make my day extra special. On July 17th of last year (the day after my birthday) I took my mother to the doctors thinking we were going to meet with the surgeon so that they could schedule a procedure to cut the rest of the cancer out. I was shocked when the doctor came in and said it was time to call hospice. I remember my mom looked back and asked if I was ok. I teared up and said yes, I just didn’t want her to suffer. My mother let me know in that moment that she was really ok and that she wasn’t suffering. At that time, I was broken, I didn’t understand why God didn’t heal her. Now I understand he did just that, HEALED her. My mother was so calm that day, my theory is she was ready to go home. Imagine fighting for so long and receiving news that could be devastating to others, but I believe my mother knew in her heart where she was going. I know now that asked me if I was ok because I was the one who would have to stay back. I THANK God for her battle with cancer. As I’m writing I have tears of joy because through it all I’ve gained so much. During her last days my mother would stare, and she just had so much peace. I know what she saw was so magnificent words wouldn’t do it justice. My goal is to fight this good fight in the Army of the Lord and meet my mother again. My outlook on death may be a lot different than others. People always say “oh this person was gone too soon”. I don’t believe that, I believe they were an overachiever and God called them home right on time. God doesn’t make mistakes; Surely he wouldn’t call them to glory if they haven’t completed what he had assigned them to do. It’s like finding a new job that pays more and has better benefits. The only people who are sad are the colleagues you leave behind, wishing it was them going instead of you. Death can be devastating but when I think about where my loved ones are, it eases the pain. There’s a mansion in heaven for me and I’m building up my holy ghost “credit score” to qualify! Romans 3:23 says “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God -Roman 3:23”
To me that’s good news! That means God has a credit amnesty plan and is willing to overlook the flaws in your “credit”. There’s so much left to do for the Kingdom of God and its time to get to work. Self-care is #1 because if you’re no good you won’t be good for anyone else. I encourage you to prepare for what God is calling you to do. If you’re not sure, pray about it and he will give you the answers. Get rid of all the distractions in your life so that you can hear him clearly. I am truly grateful for everyone’s thoughts and prayers for my family and I. 29 years and I can’t wait to see how God will use me. I pray for joy, peace, & understanding for all of my followers. Please continue to reach out and share my testimonies.
