Relationships.....
Jul 5, 2020
As you all know it’s been a rough year for my family and I but to be honest it was rough before losing my mother. No matter what I got myself into my mother ALWAYS had my back! She may have cursed me out while helping me, but I always knew I could count on her. Life is picking back up and things are occurring that I really need her for. I used to think my mother was cold at times but sometimes it’s necessary. She just didn’t deal with everybody and I now understand why. I won’t say the older I get the smaller my circle is because honestly it has gotten bigger but not in a way you would think. Quality over quantity! My circle may be “smaller” but sometimes less is more. I always try to reflect on relationships, mainly to see what I could do to be a better person to others. I also had to understand that everyone can’t go into my next season and maybe I’m not meant to go into others. HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE! I’m trying to heal; I can’t have negative energy around me. Not to be dramatic but I’m literally fighting for my life! There’s so much evil in this world and it’s draining, the people you choose to have relationships with should be able to pour into you and vice versa. I refuse to be in a toxic relationship with anyone! It takes too much! At some point you have to walk away and know that you deserve better. I think one of the most stupid mentalities to have is “No new friends”. If you want to be a better version of yourself, you have to be open to who and what God has for you. Of course, you have to ask God for discernment, and he will guide you. The enemy will send a few counterfeits but when you think of who really God is, he’s not going to send you someone who doesn’t bring out the best in you. If there are more bad times than good, it may be time to reevaluate and that’s ok. Be willing to let people go and also know that God has something greater for you and your relationships. I’m excited for new relationships and will no longer mourn the ones that ended. I’m thankful for the peace of God. So much has happened, and my only prayer is to not grow bitter. Boundaries are important and I do struggle with creating them, but I know I will get better at it over time. I spent this weekend with people I love, and it felt amazing. After such a draining work week it was nice to laugh and love on each other. Kendra came over for the 4th of July and we ate good food and watch the fireworks from my window. It was a blessing because I realized how far we’ve really came. We’ve been put in some really foul situations and when one was weak the other picked up the slack. I THANK GOD FOR MY TWIN!!! There’s no way I would’ve gotten this far without her! She’s my angel here on Earth and I really wish she saw in herself what I see in her. She always jokes about her circle being so small that it’s a square but I’m going to be praying about that because she has so much to offer this world………..As always I ask that you keep my family and I lifted in prayer. If you have anything that you’re praying for, reach out and I’ll pray for and with you.
