I'm on an Assignment......
Jazmin Elaine
Oct 8, 2020
Updated: Feb 7, 2021
When God gives you an assignment you have to stay focused. I am guilty when it comes to questioning God and asking others around me for their opinions. What God has for you is for YOU and ONLY YOU! That means not everyone will understand the vision because it’s not for them to understand. I have learned over the last year or even through life in general is that the enemy will use your loved ones against you. The crazy thing is when it happens it’s almost like you’re in shock and can’t even process what’s going on. You can’t believe the hurt that can be caused by someone who said they loved you. The spirit of jealousy is a nasty spirit to deal with and if you sense that there are people around you who possibly may be jealous of you LET THEM GO! I will be transparent by saying I am no angel; I get jealous of others myself. It’s not intentional but sometimes you may get some news about a person and it causes you to “feel some type of way”. It is important to recognize it when it comes over you and “check” yourself. Ask yourself what it is that is making you feel the way that you feel. Maybe that person reached a goal that you have been working hard toward? Maybe the person has the certain lifestyle that you may desire? Whatever it is recognize it and pray that spirit away. I truly believe jealousy can be cancerous when it comes to relationships. Sometimes we know something is up with that family member or friend but we’re in denial and ignore it. Once you realize what’s happening it’s too late, you have to “cut it out” because at this point the relationship is affecting all aspects in your life. My personal life has pretty much been on hold for the last year or two. My “assignment” was to focus on my mother and do right by her and that’s what I did. My friendships and relationships with others mean the world to me. I hate being on bad terms and I am a very forgiving person. Now that Mom is gone and I’m working from home, I have A LOT of time to think. I have recently been having dreams about things that have occurred over the last few years when it comes to people that I have been close to. Again, my mother was my focus and I didn’t necessarily have time to check a person or even remember when someone crossed me. A lot of the times I chalked it up because I thought I was just being “too sensitive” or was stressed out but NO! God will show you who is there for you and who is not. Even during difficult times, he will give you the signs. It is imperative to pay attention to those warning signs and address them immediately. I’m very good at articulating my feelings but I’m terrible at standing up for myself. I’m not sure if you’ve caught on yet but I’ve had to let go of a few friendships and even relationships with certain family members this year. I thought after losing my mom nothing could hurt me, but I was wrong. I am ok with the choices I’ve made and wish them nothing but the best. Relationships are two ways and I’m sure I played a part in why things went the way they did. Like I said earlier, I am working on standing up for myself. I did not communicate when something a person did rubbed me the wrong way, I just ignored it and it piled up. It could’ve been a time where I came out of my mouth sideways due to the stress that I was under and may have not realized it. (Not saying that is an excuse) So I’ve been doing better when it comes to setting boundaries and letting someone know when they hurt me. Because of the things I’ve gone through in life I don’t really like confrontation with others that I care about. A part of maturing is learning how to communicate effectively and if you do it in a healthy way it doesn’t always have to be confrontational. Back to my “assignment” ………I’ve been failing! God gave me this platform to help others. I started to want “feedback” and allowed the enemy to use others to get into my head. Made me question this blog. At one point I was led to believe that I was “weak” because others just “move on” with their lives. Let me tell you what I think is “weak” judging a person because they handle certain situations differently than you may have. There is no right or wrong way to grieve or process the traumas that come with life. So, I’m over here neglecting the vision God gave me (because I’m allowing others to get in my head) and literally all hell is breaking loose in my life! I’m over here stress eating like nobody’s business, spending money like I don’t have bills just out here trippin!!!! I know when God is trying to get my attention because he messes with my sleep. Y’all know I love to sleep! So, I ignore what he wants me to do during the day and he pretty much lets me know I’m not sleeping until I listen! When I don’t sleep well, I get really bad anxiety and it’s just a snowball effect of nonsense after I hit that point. So, I’m just going through it, battling anxiety and depression and all God wanted me to do was to listen to him! I surrendered, not necessarily because I wanted to but because I was tired of running. Tired of trying to figure out things on my own! I mentioned in my last blog that I was doing a bible study with my church. I learned the word Refinement which is the process of removing impurities or unwanted elements from a substance. I believe I am going through refinement in order to be able to complete the assignment that God has for me. Once I surrendered, He gave me clarity. He has shown me his promises that he has for me. I will leave you with the scripture that I have been feeling lately. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed,but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. -2 Corinthians 4:8-9
Please say a special prayer for my family and I, my mother’s birthday is on Oct.13th and it may be triggering. As always, I pray my words blessed you in a mighty way. Don’t be afraid to reach out I love the interactions. If I blessed you, share and bless someone else.
Thank you,
-Jazmin Elaine
