This Little light of mine.......I'm gonna let it SHINE
Jazmin Elaine
Feb 18, 2021
I don’t know who this message is for or maybe it’s for myself but KEEP PUSHING! God sees your struggles and he will see you through it. Don’t worry about what others have to say, keep that vision he gave to you and keep it close to your heart. People who are battling with their own insecurities will literally see something in you that they may not have and convince you that you are unworthy. The sad thing about those people, they’re usually the ones closest to you. I feel like I’ve been put down so much in my life I’m afraid to succeed because I don’t want the attention, nor do I want to hear any negativity. For as long as I can remember someone has always made it their business to try and “humble” me by letting me know I’m not “all that”. Words can change you and redirect your path. If you beat me up, the bruises will heal after a while. Verbal and emotional abuse will take a lifetime of work and heavy lifting just to heal from. My self-esteem is so low at times I’m unable to receive compliments. It really shocks me when others have nice things to say about me. How could anyone think so highly of me when the ones who claimed to “Love” me broke me down so bad? That’s the thing people will abuse you and use “Love” as an excuse. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. -1Corinthians13:4-7
Because my experiences with love didn’t align with what God says I allowed people to treat me as if I was less than. It’s not a good space to be in when you realize that you betrayed yourself. I’m still learning to submit to God when it comes to relationships and so far, it has been rewarding. He has revealed so much to me especially how truly special I am. My mother has four daughters, everyone was born with a “K” name except me. When I asked my parents why they decided to name me Jazmin there’s no particular reason. I think I was given that name because God wanted me to know from the very beginning that I was going to be different. I wish I would’ve accepted it a long time ago because I remember wanting to fit in so bad. I still want to fit in at times. My focus lately has been on God’s love for me and also the love that I have for myself. I pray for discernment and I pray that he heals my heart. I’m ready to fully walk into the purpose he has for me and do it unapologetically. Writing has become my medicine; it gives me the opportunity be vulnerable and that can be both a good and bad thing at times. I’m saying this to say sometimes emotions spark up and I don’t always want to write about it. I don’t usually like to post about something unless I went through it and came out of it. I know God put the pressure on me to do so because I know I’m not the only one struggling with low self-esteem. That inner child work can be brutal! The fact that I’m still triggered by certain things proves that I still have a long way to go. I’m trying to remember to be consistent on this “Self-Love” journey and not to settle because God is preparing me. I can’t expect to be loved properly if I don’t know how to love myself first. Trust the process…….. A good friend of mine once told me “You’re going to shine regardless with or without polish” and to them that may have been a simple statement, but I know it was a message from God. That particular day I was feeling really bad about myself and spent most of the day crying. God has many ways of communicating and sometimes it can be through other people. When I feel low, I remember what I was told and I sing “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine” to myself over and over again until I start to believe it. I guess this blog is for anyone who has ever felt the need to “dim” their own light just to make others comfortable. Nahhhhh SHINE!!!! MAKE THEM FOLKS PUT ON SUNGLASSES!!! The ones who have made you uncomfortable and unworthy for so long, it’s time to flip the script on. Walk into what God has for you and do it BOLDLY! I pray that my words bring someone comfort, if I can change one life it will all be worth it.
Thank you for the continued support, as always continue to pray for my family and I will pray for you and yours.
“Positivity kills the ones that’s always negative; Stay true and blessings will be forever”
-Moe Henry
